A Dignified Man

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“Sometimes a man just needs to toss away his top hat and cane and just slide down the stairs on his rear”

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But It’s Completely Overcast Tom

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“Look, Sheila, everything the light touches is our kingdom”

Pieday Friday: B

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“We agreed that the winner of the hoop race would get the last piece of pie, not the winner of the hoop race gloatingly eats the last piece of pie in front of the kids who didn’t cheat”

Sleeping on the Job

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“Person laying down in the back – we are very sorry but we are going to have to cut you from this contortionist audition for what I hope are very obvious reasons”

Ice Cream and Jelly

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“The real question is not how did I spill ice cream and jelly all over myself, but rather why are we having ice cream and jelly for dessert when rumour is there is a comically large apple pie about?”