Coat Check


“May I put your overcoat in the coat check for you good sir? And will you be requiring valet parking for your horse drawn carriage?”


Tokyo 2020


“I’m preparing to compete in rhythmic gymnastics in the next summer Olympics – my specialty is the ribbon!”

Don’t Insult Mom


“You’re making fun of my pants? My momma sewed me these pants! Prepare to pay for your insult!”

No Leotards Here


“Until the 1980s come along we shall do our aerobics in full dress and await the day we can work out in full neon spandex glory!”

Optometrist Dreams


“I get it – you’re going as an eye exam chart for Halloween. How clever!”

Spring Has Sprung


“I selected the finest rose out of the garden for you m’lady! And by the garden I mean that master of the house’s garden, don’t tell him about this!”