Yarn Hoarder

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“I realize Michaels has a sale, but you already have enough yarn to knit a sweater for every man, woman, and child in this town”

Assets

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“Those high waisted pants really accentuate your assets my dear”

Door-to-Door Salesman

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“Good morning ma’am, do you have a moment to spare to discuss the life changing magic of this incredible vacuum cleaner?”

Well Meant, But Awkwardly Put

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“I never forget old faces! Er… not that your face is old… but it’s been many years… oh dear this isn’t going well is it?”