As Seen On TV


“The bonnet-screen protects your children from the sun’s harmful rays! Only $99.99 plus shipping and handling”

Birthday Party


“Kids’ birthday parties are getting way out of hand these days – is that one young boy wearing a wig?!”

Your Eyes Are Glowing


“Timmy, I gotta say you’re looking a little demonic right now. Everything ok?”

The New Lyrics


“He sees you when you’re sleeping, he knows when you’re awake, he knows when you have been hogging the data on the family Share Everything cell phone plan”

Apples Are The Best


“Come along children, let’s all go to the orchard to pick apples for apple pie, apple crisp, apple cobbler, apple cake, apple squares, apple turnovers…”