That Moment


“That moment when your wife asks if you took the chicken out to thaw like she asked, and no you definitely didn’t do it”

Not a Little Piggy


“Hold up now, this bucket of slop is for Mr. Oinks”

Oatmeal for Days


“Here’s your oatmeal Baby Bear. There’s plenty more on the stove, some in the tagine, and I ran out of places to put it, so there’s some in bowls on the floor too”