Palm Reading

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“In your future I see a pretty dresses, feathered hats, and a man with a very large moustache”

Triathlon Trouble

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“You know you could shave milliseconds off your time by shaving off that moustache, glorious as it is”

A Soliloquy

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“To shave, or not to shave, that is the question: Whether ’tis Nobler to have a busy beard, Or perhaps just a moustache”

TV Guide

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“Honey, the TV Guide says that Wheel of Fortune is about to start, can you flip to channel 8?”

Political Ad

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“Arms folded, staring off in to the future – this is going to look great in my political ad. Quick, someone get me a hard hat and a baby to kiss!”

Tassely Thingy

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“The top bit pops off and doubles as a shave brush, which helps to keep this moustache in tip top shape”

Visiting Royals

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“Was that the doorbell? Company is here and I’m not ready yet!”

Sweet Hat Too

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“A late entrant! I’m sorry sir, we have already presented the moustache awards – however you are certainly a contender for best beard”