Too Lifelike

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“It’s a lovely portrait Edward but perhaps you could make it a bit less realistic? I feel you want to earn the commission you might consider flattering your subject a bit?”

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Levitating Crown

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“Omg I have no idea what my portraitist was thinking – I have a lot of powers as King but pretty sure levitating my crown is not one of them”

Dignified Portrait

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“This portrait is only going to be from the waist up right?”

Sweet Hat Too

Frontispiece book image of man with full beard wearing a feathered cap

“A late entrant! I’m sorry sir, we have already presented the moustache awards – however you are certainly a contender for best beard”

My Favourite Things

Frontispiece portrait of man and assorted items

“Piccolos and spectacles and the time 3:25. Sweet moustaches and sheet music and just generally being alive. Half eaten cheese wheels tied up with string. These are a few of my favourite things.”